Don’t Vow Lightly

heavy-heart

Today’s Devotion: Numbers 6

I write this with a heavy heart. Sometimes I read God’s word and I am reminded of just how small I am in the bigger picture of God’s greater plan. Here in chapter 6 we learn about the Nazarite vow. Essentially, any man or woman of Israel could take a vow for a period of time, or a lifetime, and become a Nazarite. This isn’t just a go-through-the-motions kind of decision, this is all in.

I made a vow to the Lord that I wanted to be a Christian; a follower, believer and  a woman of God. I surrendered it all 10 years ago in that church pew and God took me in. I have had quite a journey with Him and I see the world through a completely different lens still today. My vow, back then was, “LORD, take my business, take my daughter, take my life. I can’t please people anymore, I don’t know what is right or what is wrong. I can’t keep trying to live my life on my own, take it – it’s yours!”

I meant it too. I realized that day that I was done pleasing people and I wanted to live to please the LORD. Oh how I have a short-term memory. I have trampled over that vow many, many times. Some intentionally and some completely unknowingly.

So, why does chapter 6 hit me so hard? Well, it is a reminder of what a vow looks like and how people (Israelite/Nazarites) would willingly, voluntarily subject themselves to not drinking wine or shaving their hair. Pure sacrifice. I can’t say that my life has been a sacrifice. Stuff gets in the way of my relationship with God – busy, selfish, prideful, earthly, human stuff.

Although, God knows I am not capable of being everything Jesus was when He came to earth and He also knows that I do love Him and desire to please Him. Life is so complicated sometimes and sometimes right and wrong aren’t black and white. So this one thing I know… He has a plan for my life and even if I make a mess of it, He will still be my LORD and Savior.

Sometimes when I’m feeling inadequate, these are the promises I rest upon. Perhaps if you feel the same way, we can take the example of the Nazarite vow and remember that God gave us a new day. Take a deep breath and appreciate oxygen, your beating heart, the sight of His creation and know that with this new day, His mercy abounds.

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